Inspired by my roommate's killing of a guard in Assassin's Creed 2

(Rene, as the Assassin, kills a guard on a roof by hurling a knife into him.)

GREG: Dude, you just killed an innocent guard!

RENE: He wasn't innocent.

GREG: "I wasn't even supposed to be here today!" What if he was on ground duty, huh?

INT. ITALIAN RENAISSANCE HUT - DAY

GUARD: Good news, honey! I just got that promotion! I don't have to stand guard on the dirty ground anymore--they're moving me up to the roof!

BEAUTIFUL ITALIAN WIFE: That's great news, sweetie. Just be careful up there.

CUTE ITALIAN MOPPET (FEMALE): Yay, daddy! Now you'll have enough florins to send me to Italian college and I shall be a great artist like Leonardo da Vinci!

CUTE ITALIAN MOPPET (MALE): I wuv you Daddy.

EXT. ROOFTOP - DAY

The GUARD sees a man in RED running towards him.

GUARD: Oh no, a man running on a roof! He may fall and injure himself. As a Guard, it is my duty to warn him!
(to the ASSASSIN)
Sir! Be careful up here--

THWACK! The assassin hurls a knife into him.

GUARD: Alas, for my poor little Italian moppets. How will they survive the winter?

GUARD DIES.

The Heartless Assassin, whose name is RENE, keeps running.