Dear U.S. Airways.

Dear U.S. Airways,
Thank you for the e-card. I would have preferred that you revert your baggage policy back to not charging for checked bags, now that fuel prices have gone down, but that's life.
However, I'm puzzled by certain aspects of this image, and have a few questions about it for you.

1) The plane appears to have materialized through the glass of the snowglobe without breaking it. Have you invented technology that allows your planes to dematerialize at will? If so, what are the implications for passengers? Does the plane take us with it when it disappears, or do we flail about in mid-air for a few seconds before plunging to our deaths?

2) I'm looking at the scale, and that's a really, really big plane as compared with the city in the snow globe. How much does it cost to maintain the airport & runways for such a ginormous plane? How much fuel does it use to get skyborne? Wouldn't it make more sense to have a more normal-sized plane?

3) The giant snowglobe covering the city. Now, I do come from Waterville, Maine, which once wanted to cover its entire downtown with a giant dome (alas, I cannot find any references to this bit of folly online). Still, I am unaware of any cities in domes. Are you? If so, what implications does this have for global warming? How would such a dome be constructed? Can people even breathe in there?

4) Along those lines, the giant snowglobe seems to sit serenely on the sea, untroubled by things like waves… or gravity. Your R&D department seems to have done a bang-up job if this is the case, but wouldn't it be better to spend that money on planes?

5) Those palm trees are GIANT. Are you going to fly me to the land of the giants, where palm trees of this size are treated like so much broccoli and eaten for lunch?

I appreciate your prompt responses to my questions. Best of luck with the astounding giant-plane producing, gravity-defying R&D team. Seems like you've got some really great people working there.

And for God's sakes hire a better graphic designer next time.

Sincerely,

Greg Machlin

Congrats…

…to all those on the "Black List" (the best unproduced screenplays in Hollywood); in particular, congrats to Paul Grellong (Manuscript) and Geoff Litwack & Kat Dennings (Your dreams suck). I remember, way back when we were both at Brown, when Paul & I both tried to hand our scripts (he had a "Sopranos" spec, I had TWii, a half-hour comedy pilot) to a nameless Brown alum in the entertainment industry who had come back to speak at en event, who simply refused to even look at them. He/she was kinda mean about it, too. Revenge! Revenge!

No, but srsly, good job, guys.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/12/the_black_list_2008_the_full_l.html

I haven't posted for a few days because I've been in Bacon-Weaving land--the structuring advice provided by Blake Synder's "Save the Cat" has been very helpful. I'm not a big fan of the way "Save the Cat" is marketed--the cover of the book & quotes seem to suggest "writing a screenplay is easy! You can make millions!," while in truth, the helpfulness of the book is directly proportional to the extent that one is already a writer--someone who's comfortable sitting down every day and doing this.

Incidentally, Roger Ebert said, unprompted, "The Bacon-Weaving Axis is one great title" (scroll way down through the comments, or just search for "Bacon" on the page.)

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2008/11/siskel_ebert_the_jugular.html

The actual essay is pretty good, too.

Back to work…