Saturday, November 14, 2009

Conversations with God, pt. 4

Me: Hey, God, check out this neat bookshelf I just built all by myself. It really goes well in the room, and helps to relieve the piles of stuff I had on my floor.

God: Good work, Greg. It is a nice bookshelf, and I can see it's full already. As long as you made sure that it's more soundly built than your last bookshelf.

Me: God, I don't know what you're talking about. This is the first bookshelf I've ever built, ever.

God: You didn't have a bookshelf you had in your room on the 2nd floor of that house in Astoria, New York, from July 2004 through July 2005? The one that kept leaning over and wobbling, constantly? Where the slightest push of one of my leaf-blowing winds could knock it over?

(pause)

Me: Nope.

God: Greg, it's against the Ten Commandments to lie.

Me: I don't follow your stupid commandments! I'm a Unitarian! We make our OWN commandments!

God: Greg, you're an insecure weirdo.

Me: I hate you too, God.

God: I love everyone.

Me: Shut up, God.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Equal rights

Tim Miller alerted me to a story out there about a new play inspired by angry, anti-gay comments on a newspaper's website. I'm a little dubious of the (as-yet-unproduced-but-soon-to-be-produced) play, based solely on the fact that it calls for people to wander around onstage with typewriters strapped to their chests, calling out the comments themselves, but it did prompt this piece of writing on equal rights for gays and lesbians.

There's an issue that strikes me as being something of a moral trump card for gay marriage: hospital rights. Which is to say, the right to sit next to your spouse while they're in the hospital in a coma, or just after they've undergone surgery, or are dying. Hetero husbands and wives have the unquestioned right to do this. Gays and lesbians do not, and are frequently denied that right. Those on the right-wing are often shocked to hear this or try to deny that it happens; here are three links to prove that yes, it really does happen:

http://www.commongroundcommonsense.org/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t43285.html

http://www.examiner.com/x-4107-Gay--Lesbian-Issues-Examiner~y2009m6d2-EXCLUSIVE--California-lesbian-couple-allege-discrimination-at-Fresno-hospital

http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2009/02/lesbian-fights-for-hospital-visitation-rights-in-miami-court.html


And then there's a remarkable, heartbreaking diary on dailykos.com about a diarist who was not permitted to sit next to his partner.

Now, one could pass a "hospital visitation rights bill" making civil unions legal in all the states that don't have them yet, but there would be court challenges galore, because civil unions do not have an already-in-place legal framework backed by precedent and because there are often parents who are angry enough at their son or daughter's orientation to sue. Oh, and they still get thrown out of hospitals, despite the fact that it's ILLEGAL:
http://sesw.blogspot.com/2009/04/oregon-man-thrown-out-of-partners.html

Easier, I think, to just grant gays & lesbians the right to marry.

So, the next time you encounter a conservative blathering on about "special rights" (although they've mostly dropped that one) or claiming they've got gay friends, ask them where they stand on hospital rights.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

When your friends leave the biz

In the past two weeks, I've learned two of my friends (let's call them "A" and "B") have, respectively, stopped directing theatre to pursue teaching math/science (A) and are strongly considering leaving L.A. and pursuing something other than TV writing (B). C and D, a couple both involved in the entertainment industry in some aspect (one's a director, the other's an actor), pulled up stakes and moved out of L.A. to another city. And E, a fellow alumnus of my college who was editing on a prominent cable reality show, decided to end that and go to medical school.

I didn't want this to happen.

Don't get me wrong. They're all making the right choices in terms of their own happiness, I think. C&D were never fans of L.A., B. got screwed over by the show he was working on, and for A, and everyone else who does it, directing no-budget theatre for little to no reward is exhausting.

(*For the record, I have seen a new stage comedy A directed, and it was fantastic--A made excellent use with a small space and 8 actors to cover a sweeping historical tale of American history. It was great. B has actually directed what I consider to be the definitive edition of one of my short plays and wrote an excellent original TV script. (C and D look like they're still going to be pursuing the arts; they just won't be pursuing them here.) I haven't seen E's work in several years, but I liked what I saw and s/he always struck me as having the right sensibility for film.)

In my mind, back at Brown, when I dreamed of great exploits in the entertainment industry, I said to myself "I'll never quit!" (which is true, I won't quit writing. And I'm having a good enough time in L.A. that the very few things that could possibly lure me .) And in my mind, in my daydreams, all my enemies--those who had stood in my way, laughed at me, ignored my talents-- lay vanquished at the feat of the horrors of Hollywood and the tremors of New York, screaming about how they couldn't take it anymore, and I was left standing, along with all my friends & allies, who'd cheered me on along the way. It was never my *friends* who got frustrated and fed up with L.A./New York in my dreams.

Childish, immature, and self-centered of me. I always had dreams of hiring A and B and E to work on whatever projects of mine I was going to do (C and D, although newer, were floating around in the list of people-I'd-like-to-work-with; there's even a screenplay-in-progress somewhere out there with characters named after them). I had--and, to a certain extent still have--two intersecting beliefs:
1) That talented, hardworking people should have the ability to pursue their creative endeavors for as long as they see fit, and
2) That *I* am the person to provide them with this ability if all else fails.

2) is what we call magical thinking. It is noble to want to be able to help all of one's friends by hiring them all for your TV show, but that isn't the way the real world works. You can't just hire all your friends, even if they're qualified. (Okay, maybe you can if your name is Judd Apatow, but then he's Judd Apatow. See also Whedon, Joss.) And even you do, the show might never get on the air. Or get cancelled after seven episodes. And all this magical thinking is contingent on YOU GETTING YOUR OWN TV SHOW, which is kind of nuts. It's like lightning striking in the same place four times in a row.

These stories don't have morals: I hope A and B are happier with their new lives, and I suspect they will be. (E, as far as I know, is quite fulfilled in his new life, and C and D are *very* happy to be out of L.A.) Other people have other things they can do and be fulfilled. At the end of the day, you go back to writing, not because you have more persistence, or more endurance, as many of the above have been in this game longer than you. You go back to writing, as you always will, because for you, that's all there is.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

GIBLETS IS ANGRY!

There's an excellent blog called Fafblog, written by a guy I may or may not know (he said cagily.) In the blog is Giblets, a character who makes Sean Hannity look like Russ Feingold. And Giblets is often angry. It's not updated very much, but the archives are hysterical and still worth reading.

Anyway, the Campaign for Change wanted to know if I had any questions about health care. I did! Let's see what questions Greg has!

Dear Pres. Obama, I'm a fan of the public option & a supporter of your plan and a strong supporter of the public option. My questions are related to your strategy, insofar as there is one, a point on which I am not at all sure.

1) There are several committees in the Senate the bill could go through. Why is Sen. Baucus, who is clearly in the pocket of the insurance industries, being allowed to sabotage the plan and water it down in Finance? Do you have any leverage at all with which to threaten him? Have you considered targeting Baucus, forcing him to announce support for a public option? Are you aware that Max Baucus is severely damaging the Democratic party's image, and making the proposed plan look weak and muddled? Have you considered the possibility that Sen. Baucus is doing this on purpose? (N.B. If you're stupid enough to say "I think Sen. Baucus is a good man" or some other such garbage, I'm going to be very frustrated with your naivete.)

2) Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa has just stated publicly that he is deliberately trying to delay the health care plan. Are you *aware* that the Republicans will suffer politically if your plan passes? Do you understand that they're deliberately trying to deny Americans care so they can sabotage your Presidency and regain power? Do you understand that continuing to compromise with Senator Grassley only makes you look weak and gullible? What exactly are the advantages to your behavior with Grassley? You aren't stupid enough to believe he's going to vote for anything you produce, is he? A GOOD HEALTH CARE BILL HURTS THE REPUBLICANS. SEN. GRASSLEY WILL NOT VOTE FOR ANYTHING THAT HURTS HIS PARTY. HE IS DELIBERATELY NEGOTIATING IN BAD FAITH, *JUST* LIKE HE WAS WITH THE STIMULUS. Subquestion: If a conservative Republican had announced in 1964 that he was deliberately attempting to delay the Civil Rights Act, do you think Lyndon B. Johnson would have "continued to negotiate with him"? Why or why not?

3) 18,000 Americans die every year due to lack of health insurance. Have you considered getting large, blown-up photos of these Americans, particularly those in Maine, Iowa, Montana, and other states with key Republicans, and asking the Republicans why they want good Americans to die? Subquestion: Would you agree in politics it's almost always better to be on the offense than the defensive? Do you agree that this would be a good way to reclaim the initiative? How many photos of dead Americans do you think LBJ would have displayed by now? (I'm guessing 30, one for each day since he proposed the plan. Which he would have passed by now, in case you're wondering.)

4) Do you understand that winning wars of ideas in the media is based on emotion, not reason? If yes, why aren't you doing item #3?

5) Could you respond to this post by Matt Taibbi: "Now, obviously (and this is will be explored in more detail in the forthcoming piece, which will be out this week), the public option was not a cure-all. In fact, the Democrats had in reality already managed to kill the public option by watering it down to the point of near-meaninglessness. But the notion that our president not only does not have any use anymore for a public option, but in fact “will be satisfied” if there is merely “choice and competition” in the market is, well, disgusting. I’ll say this for George Bush: you’d never have caught him frantically negotiating against himself to take the meat out of a signature legislative initiative just because his approval ratings had a bad summer. Can you imagine Bush and Karl Rove allowing themselves to be paraded through Washington on a leash by some dimwit Republican Senator of a state with six people in it the way the Obama White House this summer is allowing Max Baucus (favorite son of the mighty state of Montana) to frog-march them to a one-term presidency?"

6) George W. Bush, despite being massively unpopular, and having wildly unpopular positions, was able to largely pass his legislative agenda. You, despite being popular and having popular positions, are not, at least with this issue. Why do you think this is? Do you think it has something to do with George W. Bush understanding that politics is based on emotion, and not letting idiot Senators from small states run roughshod over him?

7) Sen. Baucus is attempting to sabotage your Presidency and hand control of the Senate and House back to the Republicans (weak health care = Democrats not inspired = Republicans more motivated in 2010 = more votes.) What are you going to do about it?

Sincerely,
Greg Machlin
who put in 20+ hours phonebanking for you.

I don't think they're going to pick my questions.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Brief items

1) Now they've gone too far!

Robots invade classic postcards
.

2) I decided when twitter first came out that it was completely useless for real-life things (this was pre-Iranian-revolution) and could therefore only be used for fiction.
If you're not following me on twitter, you're missing the epic saga of me attempting to invade Antarctica, being intercepted by penguins somewhere in Mexico, being kidnapped by penguins, and being dragged through Central and South America en route to Antarctica.

Now I have Stockholm Syndrome and have graciously consented to be converted into a human-penguin hybrid, called a "huguin."

http://www.twitter.com/gregmachlin


3) I'm up to editing pg. 111 (single-spaced) in the novel out of 240 (again, single-spaced.) It's going well; I just encountered a brief passage that will have to be rewritten.

4) Conservatives gone wild: Rep. Mike Castle of Delaware, a solid Republican, gets yelled at by conservatives for not investigating Obama's birth certificate. No, I'm serious. They think he was secretly born in Kenya.

http://washingtonindependent.com/51489/birther-movement-picks-up-steam

Question for any Republicans who might actually believe Obama's not really a U.S. citizen: Why would conservative Supreme Court Justice agree to swear in a non-U.S.-citizen, and doesn't that mean Roberts is in on this conspiracy as well?

Also, some commenter is saying he wants there to be a "night of long knives" for the Democrats," and comes very close to wishing for Obama to be assassinated. Charming.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Xtranormal update

There's an anonymous comment about how Xtranormal are " unscrupulous ba[s]terds," and unlike some anonymous stuff, you can actually trust this one, because it comes from someone I actually know personally.

Apparently Xtranormal didn't pay a bunch of their staff, and then laid them off, and still owes several people money, of whom this guy is one. So I guess I'm glad I stopped using that site. And yeah, xtranormal, pay my new friend the damn money you owe him.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

"AFTER an unequivocal experience…"

"AFTER an unequivocal experience on the inefficiency of the subsisting federal government, you are called upon to deliberate on a new Constitution for the United States of America."--Federalist #1.

The 2nd time a major marketing campaign was used as a force of good (the first being Common Sense, of course.)

Read the whole thing, as they say.

And happy 4th of July!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

No More Horribly Slow Murderer?

"The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon," the one about the demonic figure trying to kill an ordinary guy with a spoon, has been removed by its user, possibly in an attempt to try to force more people to buy it when it comes out on DVD. Don Hertzfeldt also doesn't put his films out for free, which makes sense, considering they're his major source of income.

It's an interesting choice on the filmmaker's part--do you continue to leave it up to promote & publicize either the short film on DVD (or, in the case of "Spoon," the forthcoming feature-length release), or do you take it down and hope your product is strong enough and original enough to get people to buy it? I'm disappointed that "Horribly Slow Murderer" is no longer available, but it's quickly risen to the ranks of the one of my new must-haves on DVD.

So there you go.

To replace "Horribly Slow Murderer," here's H.P. Lovecraft writing copy for Whitman's Samplers:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/8/15burns.html

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Star Trek: The Abridged Script

Star Trek: The Abridged Script

courtesy Rob Hilton.

Pretty funny.

"BLACK HOLES LET US DO ANYTHING!"

Monday, June 08, 2009

Very cool things to do with lotto winnings

Let's hear it for Cynthia Stafford, who won $120 million in the Lotto and has used her winnings on… increased funding for the arts. Good for her.

My favorite tidbit: one of the projects she's embarking on is producing a film version of Don DeLillo's White Noise.

You go, girl.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vickie-karp/third-screen-lotto-winner_b_212378.html

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Online interview at MilesDavisonline.com

My first online interview! Thanks to Jeff Hyatt for his excellent questions.
Go forth and read. See inside my head, terrifying as that may be...

http://milesdavisonline.com/culture/the-miles-davis-online-interview-greg-machlin/

Monday, May 25, 2009

88,000 words

I'm past the 88,000 word point on my novel, which feels good; it's now officially A NOVEL. (For those who don't know, I abandoned "StrangeOffice," my previous novel, due to a general lack of enthusiasm which had seeped into the text itself, and have stayed enthusiastic with this project despite the fact that, word-wise, it's easily the longest thing I've ever written. My epic sci-fi postapocalyptic comedy 2034: Basket Full of Books, which I'm pretty sure was the previous record-holder (not counting StrangeOffice), was a comparatively brief 20,000 words.

Still, StrangeOffice was a very important steppingstone to the novel--it helped me see I needed to hone my descriptive skills, and think a little more carefully about structure.
I'm not revealing the title to the new work yet. No, not out of any superstition; I'm forcing myself to be as tight-lipped as possible about it so I will be driven to finish it.

This is a somewhat new tactic for me, particularly since my plays would receive public readings very early on in the process. I'd have to tell the actors what it was about to get them interested in performing at the readings. It feels weird to be so secretive about my work; invariably, when I get into a conversation and mention the novel, I immediately jump to the Miles Davis play or the movie I adapted into a stage play (or Bacon-Weaving).

How about you, readers? More or less secretive about your creative works? Does it change project by project, or do you have a general rule?

Side note: I think I'm going to give in and officially make this blog a writing blog, so if you have any questions about writing--playwriting or otherwise, send 'em in!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

New movie on this new cool site

So there's this website that lets you make 3D animated movies with some (currently very limited) templates: two actors, one set, one musical track if you want it. It's very, very cool and, given the limitations, is probably of particular interest to playwrights.

Here's the prologue from 2034: Basket Full of Books.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090416010742604

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Guest post for Chris Leyva & brief update

I wrote a guest blog post at Chris Leyva's blog about writers and the waiting game, which quotes my favorite scene from "American Patriot," my comedy about the Iran-Contra scandal… a trunk play I'm waiting to figure out what to do with.

http://web.me.com/chrisleyva/Chris_Leyva/Blog/Entries/2009/4/1_Thoughts_on_%E2%80%9CThe_Waiting_Game%E2%80%9D_by_Greg_Machlin.html


I saw a play by a family friend, Richard Sewell, out in Pasadena, called "The Ruckus at Machias," a week ago. If you're looking for a really good revolutionary war play about the first British ship captured during the war, this is the one. Maine pride! (actually, "family friend" is a bit of an understatement--my parents are best friends w/ Kim and Dick, I'm best friends with their son Gavin, and my sister's best friends with their daughter, Bryn.)

Iowa ratified gay marriage. Iowa pride!

More updates later. My new novel's coming along well (knock on wood), but I can't talk about it yet. (The first rule of novel club is: you do NOT TALK about novel. The second rule of novel club: you do NOT TALK about novel.)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

And now, your daily dose of insanity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJZQZARGq5M

"The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon." One of the most demented things I've seen on the internet since "Salad Fingers."

And if you haven't seen "Salad Fingers," you REALLY NEED to see "Salad Fingers." There are eight episodes in all.